The Uninspired Manifesto

...That's the title of a pamphlet I found, while rifling through today's junk mail. Believe it or not, it's a advertisement for a bible. But not just any bible, mind you, but rather The Geocentric Bible 6. From the pamphlet:

To anyone educated in the twentieth century, the "facts" seem clear. [Notice the word facts is in quotations marks; obviously something is up] The earth spins around the sun. Scientists call this theory heliocentrism. [It was painfully clear at this point they're trying to appeal to the lowest common denominator]

Wait a minute, you may be saying, "That's not a theory." [I'm copying this exactly as it's written in the pamphlet] Scientists as far back as Galileo in the 16th century proved the earth circles the sun. Not vice versa.

But did they really prove anything? [Yes. Conclusively. It was necessary to achieve space travel.]

Yes, new subjects are seldom easy to accept, [How the fuck is this new?] and this is especially true when scientific principles are involved. Or, when the subject appears not to be logical and easily grasped by what has come to be considered common sense.

After an opener like that, you would think they'd have at least some scientific research to back up these claims. Maybe an ostracized astrophysicist or someone with a theology doctorate and an interest in space travel. But no, all they can do is fall back on the legitimacy of the bible.

Literally dozens of Bible verses support the concept of the earth as a central point in God's universe. Even skeptical believers can find compelling evidence in familiar and lesser-known passages in Genesis, Exodus, Ecclesiastes, Psalms, Judges and more.

...

The mobility of the earth is the only place where science and the Bible have com into real conflict, [Really? I could think of a few more places] and is the starting point for all churches that have compromised the authority of Scripture.

...

What is the moral significance of these verses - and dozens of others in the scripture?

As R.G. Elmendorf wrote in the Biblical Astronomer pamphlet: "The philosophical consequences of the geocentric/heliocentric controversy are plain enough that if the earth is not fixed on center stage of the universe, then life on earth and man himself are essentially meaningless."

Rather than go into this long diatribe about how fucking stupid the idea of a geocentric universe is, I want to focus on the very last sentence. It represents the most ignorant of the fundies that take the bible so literally, life loses all meaning if any part of it is proven incorrect. Perhaps I'm just cynical, but I will never understand that kind of devotion to something, especially a fucking book.